Writing Prompt 17:
Captured Moments REVISED
Take some time to reflect on the
special moments of your life. See the movie of your life and pick one
scene that touches your heart or mind. Re-enter that scene and experience
it again. As the colors, sounds, smells, and feelings come back to you,
remember, savor, and write.
YOU'RE WHO AGAIN?
by Erika Hayes
October 10, 1993 – It was a Sunday. I remember it was Sunday because the events
that occurred that day began the Monday before with a much unexpected phone
call.
Monday, October 4, 1993 – My eldest sister’s
birthday. It was very quiet in my
apartment. Dare I say silent. Finally after many “but momma I’m fristee’s, I
not sleepy’s and I wanna watch Belle” both my girls were softly snoozing in their
cribs for their afternoon nap. I was
moving toward the couch to try to sneak in a quick nap when the telephone
rang. My heart leapt as I frantically
searched for the portable handset to quite the sound to ensure my girls would not
be disturbed.
“Hello.” I am sure I sounded a bit breathless.
“Hi, is Erika there?” A chipper male voice
filled the once beautiful silence. I quickly
ran through a mental catalog desperate to place the voice to a face. This
happened long before caller ID came standard on your phone. I did not recognize the voice, my shoulders
pulled and my lower back ached. I spoke
a silent prayer that it was not a bill collector or a friend of my ex-husband
trying to help him find me.
“Speaking.” I confessed.
“Oh hi this is Dave.”
“Dave who?”
“Dave Hayes.”
“Sorry, I don’t know a Dave Hayes.” I was
already moving the receiver from my ear to press the off button.
“We met at the wedding.”
Returning the phone, I felt my shoulders fall
slightly, “Sorry, um...” awkward silence then persisted, “…um, who again?” my
voice lifted a bit more than I had intended coming dangerously close to a
squeak.
“You know Kathy’s brother, David.”
“Sorry, I didn’t know she had a brother. I met a lot of people at the wedding.”
“Oh you remember” he paused “I was the
photographer.”
A small sigh escaped and my eyes rolled, “Oh
yeah, I didn’t realize you were Kathy’s brother.” A small knot formed in my
stomach as a quick mental photograph popped into my head.
“Yeah, well I was calling because I have some
tickets to the Cardinals game on Sunday and was wondering if you’d like to go?”
I was not very impressed with this Dave at the
wedding and felt the truth would be the quickest way to be rid of him, “You do
know I have two children right?”
“Oh yeah I knew that.”
Damn it! I thought, that usually discourages them right
away, “Well I am a single mom and I really can’t afford a babysitter right now
but th—“
“Oh don’t worry; I already took care of that. The
babysitter I mean.” I could almost hear the smile on his face.
A little shocked at the presumption that I was
willing to: 1.) go on a date with him and 2.) Willing to let him, set up
babysitting with someone I do not know really peeved me. There was no way I was going to go anywhere
with anyone this presumptuous. Yeah, he
was handsome but perhaps a little too cocky, “I don’t just let anyone watch my
kids but thank—“
“Oh no, I know,” he let a little nervous laugh
escape “it’s my sister, you know Kathy she said she would watch your girls.”
I was running out of excuses. It was not that I did not want to date again;
I was just leery. I remembered the photographer from the wedding. He was attractive, but he seemed to be
following my sister around. It was weird mostly because my sister was with
someone. I thought it was creepy. The muscles around my neck squeezed, I took a
deep breath and exhaled slowly. Perhaps
my pause led him to the conclusion that there was a “thanks but no thanks”
coming so he chimed in to relieve the silence. “I can pick you up or we can
meet somewhere before the game, grab a bite then I will take you home. Have you
ever been to a Cardinals game?”
He was disarming me, “Yes, when I was a kid, I
was born in St. Louis and the Cards were there then.” I began to feel a little nervous; I mean he
set up babysitting with my brand new sister-in-law whom was a principle at pre-school
and an all-around excellent person. “You know I have church on Sunday.” My
excuses were officially at an end with this one. I mean I thought I am a single
mom that goes to church and if that does not scare a guy off nothing will.
“Oh that would work great, you go to First
Christian, right?”
“Yes.” The positive, well let’s call it what it
is, cockiness in his voice was just as annoying on the phone as it was at the
rehearsal dinner.
“I could pick you up there; the game doesn’t
start until two o’clock.”
I felt the heat rise in my cheeks and the phone
cradled in my clammy palms gave away my state of mind, I just wanted to get off
the phone. So much heart break in such
a short time. I just was not sure I was ready for this again. In fact, I had all but sworn off men. I was prepared to raise my two girls alone. No help. However, as a single mom, a day out did not
sound so bad. I looked at the couch it
was calling me to finish this conversation and grab a few winks before the
girls woke up ready for dinner. Before I
knew what I was doing, I blurted out, “Why not?” Then took a deep breath and
finished, “I will meet you outside
Ironwood house. What time?”
“That’s great! Which service do you go to?”
“First”
“Okay then how about I pick you up at 11:00
outside Ironwood.”
“Okay sounds good.” I immediately felt a
flutter in my stomach. I wasn’t sure I was ready to date. Wait was this even a
date? I had not even considered that it might not be a date. I mean we are sort of related now, and the thought of me being a mom didn’t send
him running for the hills, perplexed at his intentions I sat on the couch to
stop my own pacing. “I guess I will see
you Sunday.” My voice lifted a little at the thought my overreaction of course
this is just friendly get together. Surely, he just wanted to get to know his
new extended family. I mean what was I
thinking? I guess I was the presumptuous one.
The heat in my neck and face returned my smile tugged lopsided on my
face as I shook my head.
“It’s a date! I will see you on Sunday. Bye.”
“Bye.” I
sighed a bit when I hung up. What did that mean? Was this a date? Nothing
serious I scolded myself; it is just a football game and some food. Swinging my feet up to the couch, I only
recall a flash of his face, a queasy stomach, tingling in my chest as the
darkness grabbed me. His face still in
my mind.
That was Monday, October 4, 1993.
October 7, 1993 came and went my second born
child turned one year old. It was a
wonderful day. I remember that it rained. The sweet smell of freshness, newness
that I missed so dearly. I had moved
from Hawaii only a few months before and was desperate for the rain. I guess I never really appreciated the rain
in Hawaii. A few months in the desert and I quickly learned how very blessed I
was to live where almost every day the droplets would bring rainbows and
richness.
The rain in Phoenix is different as it carries
a different fragrance. It is not the everyday pineapple mist that I once knew;
this rain brings welcome relief. The scent of rain in Phoenix is longed for; it
is a sign of change. I had moved to Phoenix in search of a new life, new joys,
and change.
I recall that it was hot still that October
because the heavy steam from the parking lot almost choked me as I ran from my
mom’s car to the front of my apartment. I was trying to keep the white and blue
“Happy 1st Birthday Jasmine” cake adorn with Disney’s Princess
Jasmine and Raja on top dry and undamaged. I was so sad when on a rare trip to see a
movie I found that my 2-week old baby girl bore the same name as the Princess.
I worked so hard to find a beautiful unique name for her and now everyone would
have a Jasmine. That however is another
story for another time perhaps.
The rain had begun slowly after I buckled the
girls into my mother’s car after our shopping trip and surprisingly remained
steady for the six-minute drive home. After
a wrestling match with the car seats, I had both my girls safely across the
parking long and waiting for me at the front of our apartment. My arms full with the great white box and a
few small treats for our birthday party I stepped to the covering over the
entrance of my apartment unlocked the door and then the skies opened up and it
poured. I hurried to put the cake
inside. I grabbed my girls and we danced
in the rain. We played and giggled and I felt joy earnest pure joy. The high-pitched
squeals of delight as the raindrops fell and soaked those two little angel
faces renewed me. Their smiles beamed
warmth in the cooling of the rain. I felt the change in the air that day. I was for a brief moment; I did not worry
about bills, life or love. I had my
girls and they were my everything. For
the first time in a long time, I was content. The rain dashed away too quickly as it often
does in the desert, but wrapped in towels still giggling the three of us
gathered to celebrate Jasmine’s very first birthday. I had wrapped the few presents I could afford
and was ready to party like a rock star with my now one and two year old
daughters!
October 9, 1993 after the girls were tucked in
and kissed goodnight, I took a shower. I
shaved my legs. While I was in the shower, the hot water poured out over my
back a billow of steam created a kind of blanket that wrapped around me. I began to question myself, what are you thinking? Don’t you know you
are meant to be alone? You are doing
this for the wrong reasons, call him up tell him you are sick, or better yet
the girls are sick. Why are you shaving
your legs? This guy annoyed you at the wedding and now you are going out on a
date with him tomorrow? Finally, I resolved audibly, “I must be broken.” Lifting
my head back to allow the hot water snake through my scalp, I rinsed the conditioner
from my hair and felt the tightness in my neck and shoulders begin to give way
to the heat. Why was I spending so much
time thinking about this? It is not a
big deal. I stood and enjoyed the fingers of water soften my strained muscles.
I reached turned off the water wrapped a towel around myself and peeked in on
my girls to be sure they had not awoken during my shower. I dried my hair, checked my girls again, set
my alarm and had a fitful night of sleep.
The dreams that came that night were a reminder of the last few years of
my life. They were not pleasant. Filled
with hurt and pain. Those are other stories, perhaps for another time.
When I woke up on October 10th I was
nervous and my stomach unsettled, my hands a bit shaken. I changed my clothes
several times before deciding it really did not matter. However, inside my head
it mattered. I fussed over my hair and finally
pulled it back up into my tight familiar ponytail. I skillfully applied my
make-up and checked myself in the mirror. I wanted to feel again, but I did not,
I felt broken and sad.
I tried
to remind myself you do not even really like this guy, but he was cute. You are not getting involved with anyone,
besides he is probably just being nice because we are sort of related now.
These thoughts echoed through me as I set about the rest of my morning tasks.
In many ways, the previous two years of my life set me up to never again trust
another living soul. Alone you cannot get hurt and my walls were
officially up. Consciously reminding
myself to relax, I would have a nice time and then we would become great
friends.
I dressed my girls as best they had for church,
fed them breakfast, we played a favorite game of find Jade’s other shoe and
finally headed to the church. Why was I
so nervous? I am destine to be alone. I am comfortable with that for the first
time in my life. God would be the girl’s
daddy and I would do my best to follow Him.
I convinced myself that the photographer would be pushing me out the
door as soon as the date was over. There is no way once he hears my story I
would be on his call backlist. I have an
excessive amount of luggage at age 22.
The warm sun had begun to release its summer
hold on Phoenix that October morning. I
stood outside the Ironwood house and right on time he was there. His little
blue Nissan zipped up and I opened the door sat down. I was greeted by the sparkling blue-eyed Dave
Hayes with a huge smile he asked, “Are you ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” I smiled back.
I never
expected what happened that day to so drastically alter the course of my life,
but it did and that story began a few minutes after I sat down in that little
blue Nissan. Nevertheless, that too is another story—for a
later time. For now, let me just say, there is a plan for everyone’s life. It rarely is what we expect. That is what is great about life—it can be
pleasantly unexpected.
